The Dragon Rises. (This one's a biggy!!)

Ok. I've been practising more with poetry and here's an attempt at integrating a proper story within a poem. It's still pretty feeble by all accounts but about thrice as long (be warned, 90-ish lines) and twice as nice - I hope! Ooh, and watch out for the little not-totally-related-but-kinda-relevant piccy I've drawn.

Five times I heard the noise.It scared to death
My family and me until I had
To go outside. Damp and so cold, the still
Air left a taste of fear upon my tongue.
Alone, I walked towards the place where cries
And screams were coming from. A haunted house
Would be easy compared to this, but still
I walked. Beyond the mire, beside the road
And to the great and mighty mound that where
They say a king or knight lies deep within.
I'm told a tiresome bloody fight did kill
Him long ago that fateful night. And while
I thought about the king I felt the ground
Stir once or twice beneath my feet. The sound
Came soon after the quake - a horrid scream
Again. I shuddered not from cold but fright.
And then the mound exploded like a bomb.
But through the maelstrom something moved -
A light that flashed so bright my eyes went blind.
I heard the mud landing in front of me
And then the screams began again. This time
They were too loud - so deafening - I had
To put my hands over my ears to stop
The noise. My sight returned, the sounds then stopped
And there, before my eyes, was all I feared.
Out of a myth the dragon flew. But really,
Could this deception be the truth? It smelt
And sounded real. Gazing upon the beast
I saw the steel over its skin - the moon
Light was reflecting, dazzling me - more machine
Than creature I suspected. On the beast,
Holding the reins, I saw the man. He wore
A helmet made of steel. I could not see
His eyes, but thought he could not be quite human.
I think I shuddered when the mighty knight
Spoke in a voice so cold and clear. He said,
'A thousand years I've lain within, waiting for

The dragon to awake. And now I'll claim

My prize. It seems that times have changed since last
I gazed upon this land.' He spied a plane
Flying above. 'This kingdom shall be mine.'
'It won't be yours,' I answered back. 'The world
Has changed but we're much stronger now.' He laughed
And then the dragon flew up to the plane
And moments later fireballs rained above.
The dragon landed on the ground ahead
And reared its blood soaked head for me to see.
'I think Old G'ray'th is still in prime condition.
You'll be my servant for my bidding and...
Your family will die at any sign
Of slight betrayal.' I thought about the knight's
Harsh words. I couldn't run - I had no choice.
But an idea entered my head. I said,
'I'll be your slave but for a price. I want
To rule this country too. You give me power,
I'll loyally serve.' The knight then laughed aloud.
'There's strength in you. You'll make a knight one day,
But now you have a price to pay - in blood.
Give me your hand. The dragon's teeth must pierce
It twice. And then you'll swear an oath to serve me.
'The teeth were sharp and ripped my hand, like scorching
Flames had ignited through my skin and bones.
A surge of power had then coursed my veins and
I saw the knight for what he truly was -
This otherworldly thing can't rule the world!
I had to stop him there and then or else.
My hand still bloody, hurting, I then ripped
The tooth from G'ray'th's wide jaw.
It screamed a horrid scream and lurched about
The earth. The knight then jumped off from his perch
And faced me with a deathly stare. 'You'll die!
'He said with bitter scorn. 'You first!' I answered.
I thrust the tooth towards his frame. He shielded
My chance attack and threw his sword at me.
I then replied again, 'Your time has passed.
Leave now or die. A simple choice, I think.'
'Never!' he said - his final words. I thrust
The tooth again and cut him in the chest.
He staggered back and forth in pain and fell
Upon the mound that kept him safe for years -
The dragon too lay on that ground. The mound
Then closed up tight with them inside, perhaps
A thousand years might be enough and then
He'll rise again. I slowly walked back home
That morning - mind was drifting everywhere.
I never spoke about it before this time.
But every now and then I feel this urge
To fly above the city streets and soar
High in the clouds. But worst of all...
I want to rule and bite and burn these things
I live amongst. The urge has never gone.
And so these words are all that I have left.
My mind's conflicted by what's right or wrong.
This dragon's tooth shall finish my life best.

So, that's your two cents. All in all, I'd give it a grand old score of 6/10, let down by a rather weak ending and that rubbish picture of mine (OMG... What was I thinking? I had to use 3 different paint programs to make it!) What do you think?